I'm losing my grip. On my emotions, thoughts, etc. I've kept everything bottled up for so long. Only telling people the bare minimum. Only letting them in on what they need to know, or what I want them to know. Letting them THINK they were forcing it out of me, when really I was always going to let them know. I was always going to give them this tiny, tiny, tiny, little, bit of informaton. Convincing everyone that I was a terrible liar so that they'd never know when I was actually lying. So that I could keep things to myself, like I always have. But then when I actually did speak out tell anyone what was going on, they wouldn't hear me, they wouldn't listen.
I've tried to say what's on my mind, but I'm not at home in my own home. And I can't move on. No one sees the pain I'm in. No one hears the pain I'm in. Just like no one reads this. I knew they wouldn't to. I've been trying to find myself. But its not that simple. I'm so lost. Its like I'm buried in this deep pit, no one knows I'm there, no one hears me crying out, and I'm not strong enough to pull myself out.
...I just can't....
