This week has been really weird. I don’t know how to explain it, but, it’s been almost, good?! Stuff about my life is never good! Not since Cassie and Camille. Ok, ,I guess that’s a bit much. It wasn’t to bad during 7 and 8. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t deal with the stuff that was happening, but I had other people to help. And then, yr 9. I cannot possibly describe how hard that was. It was like everything I depended upon had suddenly disappeared almost overnight and it just kept getting worse and worse. Everything so confusing, you know? Darla was there for me but she wasn’t physically here, you know? All of a sudden I actually had to THINK about how I felt, I had to acknowledge my guilt, about both of them, and I actually had to think about it. I used to only see their faces in my dreams, but, then all of a sudden I saw them everywhere. I just couldn’t escape them. I thought I was going to go insane. Hence the depression, I wouldn’t have even realised I had it if it wasn’t for Darla. But that’s irrelevant. I was seeing them too much and not being able to deal with their death the whole time. And it’s been happening for so long. It got better when Darla came back, and with Jace. But then even they left. And I became even more alone. But then, this week; I don’t know. It just got so much better. I’ve been seeing them a little less. I’ve been laughing and smiling for real. People who I thought hated me, specifically tried to talk to me. Does this mean everything’s changing? Does it mean I’m finally going to be happy?!
No comments:
Post a Comment