Should I Disappear??

It seems I'm going to have to make a decision. It's a choice that will effect the rest of my life and the choice is very hard to make.
Do I stay or do I go??
And I don't just mean borading school or another school, or town. I mean go -- for good.
No coming back, no visiting. I mean I physically wouldn't be able to, there's no such thing as ghosts.
Or do I stay and try to deal with this bullshit?? I know no one would miss me. They've proved that. They have another Mary who seems to be the only person they think about. Other than their best friends of course. And I'm no ones best friend am I. Every time I think I've found a best friend I realise that's bullshit and their besties with someone else. Someone who isn't me. And it ALWAYS ends that way. I know I could disappear. I've figured out a pretty painless way to do it. An easy way. You see I buy these sleeping pills cause I physically can't get to sleep, ever. And I need them to sleep. I'm sure that a couple of packets would work. Wouldn't they??